The Associated Press reports that two Afghan detainees released from custody in Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, claim that 180 of their remaining colleagues are engaged in a hunger strike. The strike is said be held in protest of  various insensitivities of U.S. captors regarding Muslim culture and religion.  

An anonymous source in the White House confides that Gov. Jeb Bush of Florida has called his brother, the President, insisting that feeding tubes be inserted into the gullets of the striking detainees.

Civil rights activists immediately took action to block any attempt to circumvent the ultimate reward of martyrdom for the prisoners. Citing Pro Choice as the basis for their intervention, scores of radicals marched on the White House Wednesday defending the hunger strike.

The left-wingers were joined in an unlikely fellowship by conservative factions seeking, by similar methods, to reduce the operating cost of Gitmo. Free autopsies have been offered by the group, Help the Starving Muslims, for those prisoners wishing to participate in the hunger strike.

The White House has taken the matter under advisement.