The News Raises Questions
November 22, 2003 - It’s been a busy week. American targets in Iraq have been
attacked by mortars launched from donkey carts. The King of Pop has been
arrested on charges of sexual molestation of a child. The fortieth anniversary of the Kennedy
assassination has dominated documentary channels. A middle Eastern
expert reports that Osama Bin Laden and several of
his top aides are enjoying safe harbor in Iran. Iranis are cooking
up nuclear bombs. The Queen of England
had The President and First Lady as her house guests
for the better part of the week.
Turkish targets take fire from Al Qaeda. Malvo pleads
insanity. Mohammed case goes to the
jury. Scott Peterson ordered to stand
trial. Mark Garagos
take on another case. Record producer
Phil Spector is charged with
murder. The Senate blocks the
President’s energy bill approved by the House. Southern Mississippi spoils TCU’s
perfect football season. Freddie Mack,
upon reflection, uncovers $5 billion in unreported profits.
Let’s briefly review each one:
- UN inspectors obviously
overlooked the donkey carts as weapons of mass destruction. What’s next, exploding straw bundles?
- Michael Jackson’s
claims that there is no greater expression of love than sleeping with a
little boy made be laid open to public view. Do
you know where your children are?
- The Warren Commission
Report does not match any account given on television this week by
witnesses and learned investigators.
It further does not match any common sense reconstruction of the
events of November 23, 1963. How
long are we going to be stone-walled?
- How can Monsoor Ijaz (who has traced
Bin Laden to Western Iran) upstage the CIA and all other intelligence gathering organizations? Simple. He knows of what he speaks. Why
not fire the CIA and hire him?
- Are we ready to declare
war on Iran for weapons of mass
not, but what about the threat?
if they have the Bomb AND Bin Laden?
- Is there a chance that
the president buggered a servant while in Buckingham Palace? Probably not, since the heat is on. Did
the Queen hold Prince Charlie out of the limelight for fear that he might
make a move on W?
- The Turks have arrested a
couple of suspects in the recent Istanbul bombings. Give them a couple of days to
interrogate these guys. Perhaps we should subcontract the Guatanamo operations to the Turks. (These
are the guys whose Korean POW camps had a single
strand of barbed wire around them.
NOBODY EVER attempted escape.
Get the message?)
- Malvo claims to have been
brainwashed while he was blowing away innocent victims. Perhaps a brainwashed executioner should
wield an axe to Malvo’s neck. Isn’t that fair?
- Mohammed is cooked. What
is the cooking time for a 185-pound person?
- Peterson must stand
trial. No shit?
- Mark Garagos
has represented many high profile clients, most all of whom were convicted. Who would hire the highest paid loser
in Law World?
- After several months,
record producer Phil Spector is
finally charged with murder after telling the cops, “I think
I may have killed somebody.” Do you think you may have committed a
- The energy bill died
because it contained too many benefits for special interest groups. ALL bills are the product of special
interest groups. What’s the big deal?
- Southern Mississippi couldn’t
beat anybody, yet they squashed the Frogs.
Beaten by Blackie Sherrill’s delta hayseeds? Why
would you ever bet on a college football game?
- Okay, so it’s spread over three years – it’s
not all at once. Can you imagine not realizing that you
had earned an extra $4.5 BILLION over the last three years? This is an enterprise run by educated
grown-ups who spend much of their time analyzing the state of the
business, yet they missed by a huge margin for three friggin’
doing a great job, though, since they perform beyond their expectations,
even if unwittingly. Are these folks earning their huge
“Look here, Izzy. I found another billion in the coffee