A Call for Classic Children's Poem to be Expunged from Libraries

Numerous Social Implications Cited

 

The Woman Who Lived in a Shoe

 

There was an old woman,

Who lived in a shoe;

She had so many children,

She didn't know what to do.

She gave them some broth,

Without any bread;

She whipped them all soundly,

And sent them to bed.

 

1.  Living in a shoe suggests that the lady was actually homeless, and to emphasize her plight is demeaning and insensitive.  Nonetheless, a shoe is substandard housing and an unsuitable environment for raising kids.

 

2.  Her life had reached the point that her only means of income was to bear more children to increase her welfare payments.  Without any record of the fatherhood, Child Support Enforcement authorities have no deadbeats of record to pursue for payment.

 

3.  She was careful to feed her children broth in lieu of red meat, and withheld bread from their diets, to maintain their health and control their weight.  Although a noble effort, the unbalanced diet poses a threat to the physical development of the skinny little ones.

 

4.  An abusive single parent, the Old Woman is under investigation by Child Protective Services.  Sound whippings are cause for removing the children to foster homes.

 

5.  Once the children were remanded to bed, it is suspected that the Old Woman then ventured out to a local singles club where she consorted with gentlemen in an effort to engender more offspring.  Mo’ kids means mo’ money.  Got it?

 

6.  A poor role model for today’s youth, the Old Woman was in fact a mean-assed ho'.